Finding Meaning and Purpose in Motherhood
Becoming a mother is a transformative event in a woman's life, fundamentally changing who she is. While each woman’s experience of motherhood is unique, many share common challenges. One significant challenge is the existential crisis that often accompanies motherhood. Though not all mothers go through this, many of us do, facing a profound reevaluation of our values, beliefs, and self-perception. This process questions the meaning and purpose of one's life, making it a powerful and challenging experience.
Mainstream research on postpartum challenges primarily focuses on postpartum depression (PPD). However, PPD is often linked to existential crises, which can manifest similar symptoms, such as feelings of depression, guilt, shame, inadequacy, and a loss of meaning and purpose. It's worth noting that about one in seven women experience PPD symptoms within a year of giving birth, and in some populations, this rate can be as high as 30%.
In my work with mothers, those exhibiting signs of PPD frequently report a lack of meaning and purpose in their lives, which suggests that their struggles may stem from an existential crisis rather than solely from PPD.
Addressing these challenges requires a holistic approach, considering the physical, social, personal, and spiritual dimensions of motherhood. While physical changes are well-recognized and addressed, the social, personal, and spiritual aspects are often overlooked, contributing to the difficulties new mothers face.
Additionally, modern mothers lack a formal rite of passage into parenthood, unlike traditional tribal cultures that provided initiation ceremonies and ample postpartum support. This absence can lead to existential upheaval, as mothers are expected to transition seamlessly without the rituals that traditionally marked this profound change.
Motherhood, when examined closely, parallels an expansion of the self. It contributes universally to developing a sense of self, identity, values, and one's contribution to the future.
Therefore, it is crucial to understand motherhood more deeply, incorporating existential dimensions, challenging societal expectations, and recognizing the significant shifts in identity and worldview that occur during this transition.
Working with the Existential Crisis
Navigating the existential crisis of motherhood can open doors to finding the meaning and purpose within motherhood and in life outside of it, although when in the midst of this experience it can feel like quite the opposite. This understanding can help mothers receive the support and care necessary to navigate these challenges. However, it can be difficult to know where to begin. While each situation is unique, in my opinion, two key factors are essential to explore: spirituality and connecting to ancestral stories.
Spirituality
Motherhood offers an opportunity for profound spiritual growth and transformation. The intense emotional experiences inherent in mothering are designed to accelerate spiritual development. Many mothers describe their journey as a rebirth, seeing the world with new eyes and awakening to a reality they had not previously known. Their language often reflects fundamental spiritual principles of compassion, patience, surrender, and divine love—an existential shift.
In the stories of mothers, we can see the universal tale of the heroine’s journey. By choosing to mother a child, women embark on a spiritual adventure, facing trials that lead to a richer, more mature state.
However, in a culture that does not recognize or honor mothering as a critical window for spiritual awakening, women navigate this journey alone, increasing the risk of dysfunction. It is time to revise the narrative of motherhood to acknowledge spirituality as an integral part of the mothering experience, benefiting mothers, their children, and society as a whole.
Connecting to the Stories of Ancestors
In my work with mothers, I find great richness in exploring how the loss of connection to cultural folklore, myths, and legends can lead to an existential crisis or a lack of meaning and purpose in motherhood. Many of us mothers who experience existential crises do not have a strong connection to our cultural lineage and the archetypal mother figures within those stories. This disconnection may contribute to our existential struggles.
In my studies on the existential crisis of mothers and the myths and legends of my cultural heritage, I found a strong connection between the absence of these stories and my personal experience of an existential crisis after becoming a mother.
I am passionate about studying global myths and legends that highlight the role and archetypes of the mother and connecting them to the modern experience of existential crises in motherhood.
As Galadriel says in The Lord of the Rings, "...some things that should not have been forgotten were lost. History became legend, legend became myth, and for two and a half thousand years the Ring passed out of all knowledge. Until, when chance came, it ensnared a new bearer... Its time had now come." The ring symbolizes the ancient stories of our ancestors. These stories should not have been forgotten but have been lost over generations, waiting for the right time to re-emerge. In times of darkness, when many experience a loss of meaning and purpose, we all hold the potential to be ring-bearers, bringing back the stories, myths, and legends of the past. Reconnecting with this ancient wisdom could be a remedy for the rising experience of existential crises and the subsequent lack of meaning and purpose in the lives of mothers.
